Tuesday, February 12, 2019

I Am a Woman

Power Play in a Woman’s World

The Alpha, Omega and the Beta


In a world of what we’d call ‘Power Women’ today, one may be quick to identify herself with one of these labels and understanding what role she has in society. Many believe we cannot move out of that trait but as we grow and develop we do indeed change, physically and emotionally. It is possible to identify with another trait.

So with that, let’s explore some of the common traits of each type:

The Alpha Woman~

Yes, the Alpha woman loves the spotlight—and she has earned it.  She’s the born leader and women gravitate toward her.  She never settles, be it work, love or play. She’s always up for the game—and most of the time she is the game. She is very selective when choosing a mate and even friendships. She gets a high from accomplishments and winning. It feeds her core only enticing her to power up.

It’s not easy being an Alpha. The goals one set are so high that sometimes they are impossible to reach. When an Alpha falls—she falls big time, but she picks herself up and gets right back in the game.

Some famous Alphas are: Angelina Jolie, Rhianna, Beyoncé, Oprah, and Hillary Clinton.

The Omega Woman~

If you find yourself to be more sensitive to other’s feelings, you may be an Omega. Most empaths and sensitives fall into this category. The Omega woman will be much happier to spend a night at home reading or thinking up brilliant ideas than out at a crowded social gathering. She is a constant giver and will put others first, sacrificing her own needs. Energy Vampires will seek her out—they sense the vulnerability. It is a known fact that the Alpha Male is drawn to this very type of woman. Giving off so much of her energy she often is left emotionally weak and physically drained. You will find teachers, nurses and those in caretaker roles fall into this category.
With that being said—I myself fall into this category.


The Beta Woman~

Beta women long to be Alphas but simply can’t see themselves filling that role. She talks herself out of Alpha women roles and playing up the defense.  Trying to keep up and afloat seems to be the routine. She may be high strung and stressed. Some do not see what she sees in herself and at times others assume she appears on the aggressive side. The Beta woman has all the traits of an Alpha but lacks the confidence to reach and maintain the high level an Alpha functions at. She knows how to play rough and doesn’t take the bullshit others dish out. She is possessive of the things she’s worked so hard to achieve.

No matter which type you identify with, there is power in each trait. I don’t think we need to let labels define us and we are capable of attaining what we want at different times of our lives.

~ I do tend to mix these traits with most of my female lead characters. I have also taken a Beta and transformed her into an Omega in my Women of the Willow Wood Series. That’s how we create a round character versus a flat one.

You can find my books here on Amazon~

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Monday, February 11, 2019

Hunting Polar Bears by NL Osguthorpe


Hunting Polar Bears





Working with young children is always eventful. They have a gift for doing and saying the unexpected and as a teacher one must always be ready to respond, leading the child down the path which will best suit their learning style, enriching their understanding and personal development. This being said, there are occasionally situations which demand an instant reaction and where the route one should take can be a little ambiguous to say the least.


Have you ever had a relationship with a colleague which is so in tune that it becomes alchemy? I have been lucky enough to experience this on several occasions in my teaching career and it is from one such pairing my story begins. Working with four-year olds is never dull and it requires a special kind of person, one who is fully willing to commit to the world of a child and allow the journey to take them. Those who really understand the nature of young children know that you can never fully control that environment, your role is not to set the learning but to find the path which leads there. And so, with this philosophy in my heart I take my class out into our playground one dreary February afternoon to find my colleague surrounded by frantically active children carrying crates and planks of wood and building bricks in a melee of beautifully orchestrated chaos. I look over to my colleague, she has the hood of her coat pulled firmly up to cover her face and waves frantically as we come out of the door, calling across the playground to us. “Do you have any food? Hurry, get on the boat!”

The children of my class look to me, their eyes twinkling with excitement, as they know the magic is about to start. “We’ve got no food!” I called back “But we’d like to get on the boat if that’s alright!”

“We need your help!” My now frantic colleague and friend cried back to me, “our boat is sinking, and we’re trapped in this Polar ice!”

Our topic this term was ‘The Land of Ice and Snow’, with a focus on the environment and conservation. All week the children had been avidly watching videos of scientists and adventurers exploring these lands of ice and snow, and so their play explored their new learning and experiences and their imaginations were alight with creativity.

“We’ve got to help them!” I exclaim to the now fully alert host of four-year olds gathered around me, “Quickly get on the boat, see what you can do to help, don’t let the ice crush the boat!”  The children hurtle into action rushing over to join their friend in glee, while my fellow teacher and I exchanged that look of anticipation which so few adults ever get to share.

For a short while there wasn’t much for us to do, the scene was set. the play engaged, our role was now to watch, assess and record. To let the children’s play, demonstrate their learning and knowledge while building those social skills which are so important for later life. 

“Polar Bear!” a child cried from the front of our ship. “I can see a Polar Bear!” It was only a matter of time before the Polar Bear would arrive, after all we had been learning about them all week and the children loved to watch the videos, read the stories and play with the collection of polar bear toys on display in the classroom.


“Get the camera!” I called back, “Let’s take a photograph!”

“No!” the child shouted back to me, in exasperation, “Lets hunt it!”

Something turned sour in my heart, all week I’d been teaching about endangered animals and our role on the planet to do what we could to protect these beautiful creatures. I looked towards my colleague and saw the same internal conflict reflected in her eyes, we both knew the politically correct route, yet turning back to the children, my mouth agape I could see laid before me the scene of the play we had set. The children were starving!

Suddenly I was grabbed roughly on both arms and spun around to face my colleague, whose eyes now twinkled with mischief.  “Are you insane?” she exclaimed “We’re starving out here! With the cold and the ice! We’ve got to eat something.” She’d obviously been down the same thought paths as me only reached her conclusion sooner, the play was now in control of the teachers.

I paused for an instant, trapped within a conflict of my own creating. I looked around me at the fully alert and engaged little faces, all waiting for my next response. “Can’t we catch some fish?” I asked pleadingly.

“No!” it was the children who replied in unison.

“The ice is too thick!” my colleague replied, sadness misted over her eyes as she looked at the faces of the children awaiting our response, she was a very good actress, “It’s us or the Polar Bear!”

My shoulders dropped, the breath I was holding expelled and sadness filled my eyes; “That’s a dangerous creature out there,” my voice was softer now resigned to the decision, the direction we would take, “we can’t just walk up to it, we’ll be ripped to shreds.”

“I know” my colleague replied and turning back to the children she cried “Get the harpoons!”

The children burst back into action, the play moved on and once again my friend and I found ourselves alone. I allowed my real face to take control and gave her a look of exasperation “We’re going to hell you know!” I told her firmly.

“I know” she said cheerfully “But at least we’re going together. Besides, we can’t let them starve.” I rolled my eyes then laughed, reminding myself this was only play.

Then I noticed a small child had quietly come up beside us, eyes cowed and face sad. Perhaps this little one was disturbed by the brutality of the play. “Are you ok sweetheart?” I asked her softly.

Her eyes sparkled as she realised that I had noticed her, and a smile spread across her face. She held out her hands towards me, cupping them like a bowl. “I brought you some Polar Bear stew.” She beamed proudly, before skipping off back to her ships galley.

I would like to state that no Polar Bears were injured during the course of these events, and that all issues raised were most fully dealt with upon return to the classroom.  I also feel I should apologise to the Polar bear, for our compliance for this fictitious act. There really was no other choice we could have made we had to feed the children.

As I said the life of a teacher is never dull.                                                            

NL Osguthorpe

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Sunday, February 10, 2019

Love Is In The Air at #OurAuthorGang

What is Love?


Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

Love is not always chocolate covered strawberries, roses, and diamond rings.
Love could be beautiful but it can hurt or make you being possessive. Love can make you doubt yourself but it can also give you wings. Love can break you down but it can also lift you up.

Read short snippets in books about love


I’m attracted to him and want to get to know him; I can’t deny that, but I saw him as an all-evil being. Well, only for a second. I came up with the excuse a little too quickly and my mind started wandering. I should have done my hair, put on some makeup and I should have worn my blue blouse. It looks better than this pale-yellow thing I threw on this morning. The line of thoughts surprised me, Wow! I want to impress him. This is new. I never worried about these things before, even with Bela. Well, we grew up together. He saw me at my worst, so I never worried.
I confess, Diary, I don’t have much experience with love, dating, and relationships. I’d never found the person I could relate to in that way, although I tried with all of my might. I always thought it was me—that something must be wrong with me. Yeah, something was wrong, all right. I’m in love with a person who is not able to return my feelings. Of course, there’s something else different about me. Not too many people inherited the ability to slow time, but other than that, I think I’m normal. And, of course, this new healing business, I shouldn’t forget that. Perhaps I’m not that normal, after all.
I’d thought a lot about the meaning of love through the years. I loved my parents, Ema, Bela, and Elza, all of them a little differently, of course, but it was still love. I loved them, feared for them, watched out for them, and would have done anything in my power to make them happy. I had been able to repress and hide my feelings for a long time, and on command, but had I mistaken my feelings for Bela as love because I had not yet met my true love? But what is love, really? Is it the emotion between soul mates like Romeo and Juliet? Is it that feeling which seems eternal and worth waiting for? Is the emotion of love nothing else but a chain of chemical reactions in the brain? Is it hormones that dictate how we feel? I wonder...
I’d read about love in countless books, watched it displayed and analyzed in movies, but in reality, nothing ever came close to that earth-shattering love others were so passionate about. I’d read studies that pulled love into pieces and looked at the physical reactions the emotions created. And still, nothing explained what makes us love someone the way we do. On a rare occasion, Bela touched or kissed me; I felt something awake in my body. I repressed it so fast that I didn’t have time to study it or even enjoy it.
I’m a healthy woman with good genes and active hormonal functions. I should have been attracted to someone in a sexual and sensual way, even if I didn’t feel the forever-devoted-to-you, and I’m-so-addicted thing.
I’d never even experienced puppy love, except my love for Bela. I played with him as if we were both boys. We climbed trees, fought imaginary wars, and so on. In high school, I was a lanky teenager and never caught any boys’ eyes. Well, perhaps occasionally, but I wasn’t the damsel-in-distress type that teenage boys seemed to prefer.
© Erika M Szabo

“Didn’t you say you wanted to talk about Lucy?” she inquired, after sampling her first sip. 
“That’s right. I thought you might be the best person for me to confess to.”
“Confess? What do you have to confess to?”
“Oh it’s not really anything big, but when you get to be my age, you don’t want to let even the littlest of things go unsaid, just in case you never get the chance to say them again.” Mr. Thornton had captured Ms. Rapture’s complete interest and attention. She dropped the piece of cookie she was about to bite into and then quickly took a sip of her tea as Mr. Thornton began to explain. “Well,” he said, hands trembling. “If you don’t mind, could I call you Sarah and you call me Edward? It would really make this much easier.”
“Yes, of course … Edward,” said Ms. Rapture anxiously. “Calling me Sarah would be just fine; it is my name after all.”
Edward could see that Sarah was becoming impatient and decided to end the suspense. “You see, Sarah, I think I quite rather fancied your sister Lucy, and I think she liked me, too. I know I’m much older than she was, but I felt we really had a connection. I thought you should know, and that I should get it off my conscience. We met over at Teddy’s place and often spent afternoons at my community center playing Gin Rummy.”
“Well, how do you like that?” Ms. Rapture snickered. “Lucy did tell me she thought there was someone who might be a prospect, but then Lucy always did have lots of boyfriends.” Sarah grabbed her chest and blinked, realizing what she’d said. “But I … I didn’t mean she—”
“Oh no, it’s quite all right, Sarah. Lucy and I never made any proclamations or commitments to each other. We never even went on an official date,” he explained, quickly removing the discomfort of her statement.
“If nothing ever happened between the two of you, then why are you here? Why are you trying to clear your conscience?” 
“You see, Sarah, Lucy was the first woman I was ever tempted to pursue since my wife died. It’s taken me this long to … I guess, get over the love of my life.” Edward was clearly trying to hold back tears when Sarah reached out her hand to cup his now clenching fist. She gazed at him with sympathy and he stared back at her, continuing to speak as tears crept down his cheek. “I figured you would somehow understand my needing to come here. I’ve seen how you’ve been dealing with this loss and it’s very reminiscent. I just wanted you to know that, it may not happen when you want it, but it will. One day the pain will be gone and you’ll get over the loss of your sister, and I promise you … you will never forget her.” 
© Toi Thomas

After adding cream to our coffee we stirred our clouds with heavyweight, formally ornate, silver spoons. His, more of a conductor’s baton setting the tempo and nuances of phrasing to seal our fate whilst preserving a Paris bound by mutual respect for each other evermore. Where the evening vibes overruled my original intent to revive a dormant relationship in favor of relinquishment without a formal commencement speech, Jeff sought to give it credence by addressing its malaise. As a result, he exposed vulnerabilities at the risk of maligning his own character. Because he did, I venerated him all the more for his candor. 
“Did you plan on staying at your place or driving back to Beauchemins tonight?” 
A loaded question inferring he never planned on spending the night with me in the first place! “I just didn’t want you to get home and discover most of my stuff gone before talking things over.” 
Apparently, like Rick Blaine, he’d done the thinking for both of us in advance. “You could have told me your ground plan over the phone.” 
“And forego dining here for old times’ sake? Sure, but I felt you deserved better. 
Since this place meant so much to us, I wanted to level with you here, and hope you won’t think any less of me than you had for the way I’ve avoided you lately.” 
He was getting to the point. The turning point and the point of no return, one and the same. I fired a finger-pointing counterpoint. “It’s precisely your avoidance that led me to believe you’d become less enamored with me.” 
Just as Jeff had done the thinking for both of us, refills on coffee with more clouds stirred between us predicated he’d also do most of the talking. “I was under the impression we had it made … a relationship with no wall between us or walls to hem us in, our nomadic professions defining who we are by and large. When you indicated how serious you were to adopt, my assumptions about us fell apart. I’ve no one but myself to blame for causing a rift between me and my sons by chronic absenteeism. My ex labeled me a cat-in-the-cradle dad with planes to catch. She’s right! Frequent travel made me a lousy husband too, and she found someone else better-suited for her. Though I’m capable of sustaining a long-term relationship, I’m a proven failure the higher anyone expects me to climb along moral ground.” 
I shushed him from denigrating himself any further by placing my fingers over his lips. Blurting sappy Casablancan clichĂ©s, I told him how his forthrightness restored and preserved our Paris which began and culminated at the Cantina, bridging the latitude from Morocco to Boston for posterity’s sake. 
No longer a couple mistaken for parched middle-agers, he leaned forward and kissed me for the last time, summoning all the warmth and fervor reserved for our final kiss. Da-dyda-dy-da-dum! 
© Eva Pasco


I looked sourly at Julie who insisted that she did give me a push but I had just turned over, snoring like a warthog. Knowing that Della had arrived outside, she had no choice other than to take our offspring to the wood-shed, to see if the duo were still in residence. The consequences of not waking our two would have condemned her to looking after ‘moaning minnies’ for days. Wrapped up in blankets against the cold and holding hands, my kids took no notice; they only had eyes for Bolt.
I saw many a yawn and many a shiver but none of it stopped the children from wanting to feed the rabbit, hold the rabbit and all of them faithfully promising to look after Bolt from now on. Tess however, had already decided that she was going to be Mum as she defiantly stood guard on protective duty.
Our two wives were showing the children what Tess was doing and explaining that she was treating Bolt like a young puppy, as she had never had puppies of her own. I stood and looked and gaped!
Bolt saw me and hopped over. I knelt on the floor to stroke him and he licked my nose. My eyes widened.
‘Love, he has now licked all of us. I think he is acknowledging his family,’ my wife said without a trace of irony, ‘he clearly has marked us with his scent. Look! See! Now he is rubbing his face and whiskers over you.’ 
Whatever next? I thought.
Being some eight years younger than me and being a born carer Julie took over my life from the day we wed; I called her my calming influence. Never too busy to give a helping hand to anyone, her maternal instincts extended to her husband, thank goodness. Our friends and neighbours used to wave lottery tickets at me in the first year of our marriage. They said I was that lucky.
Everyone knew I was going to marry a blonde, I always chose blondes to ask out, so I did not think that too many folk were surprised that I chose Julie, although her acceptance came as a big surprise to many and to me especially. 
Although she had a string of suitors after her hand she declined them all. As she explained to any who would listen, it only took me four years to propose and then she actually asked me. So she said! 
It mattered not for we had been together for eleven years and married for the last seven. 
With many a complaint and the odd tear, the girls began to usher the children into the kitchen to prepare their breakfast. Dan and I looked at the scene before us, or in my case beside me, as Bolt sat on his hind paws between Tess and me.
‘Jacko, I never thought that I would see anything like this. This animal, this ...’
‘Bolt.’ I said drily.
‘Right ... Bolt ... Bolt is different. No he’s a one off. We must show him to someone. Someone, who can tell us about this and tell us what to do.’ His words tumbled out.
‘Who?’ I said calmly.
‘I don’t know! There must be someone we can talk to.’
© Rick Haynes

ESSENCE
Arriving home after a long day
I walk into an empty house
No lights, you must have gone to work
Wish one of us would think about leaving one on
Hard to remember that in the morning
Other things are on our minds when we are together
Besides, I did not intend to be so late
I stub my toe on something
I take a deep breath to keep from yelling
In that moment I feel you
Your presence in this room lingers
Not an aroma, you wear no cologne
It's just an essence
A "something" in the air
Suddenly,
The house is not so empty or dark

Emily’s eyes misted over and as she touched her necklace memories flooding her mind. She had the ring Daniel gave her the last day of her last visit when they had their first and only kiss… I remembered that kiss in my dream, she thought. Yes, my unconscious mind didn’t forget. The kiss in my dream felt exactly like our kiss so long ago. We were so young. I guess I blocked it out because it hurt too much when my parents forbade me to go back, and Daniel never answered my letters. I kept the ring, though.
Emily pulled out her necklace and showed it to Daniel. “I kept the ring too,” she said. “I had it plated with gold and the blue glass stone replaced with sapphire.”
Daniel held Emily’s hand and swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat, “I tried so hard to find you, but my parents always hushed me when I asked, and we didn’t move back to my hometown until it was too late. Your Aunt Julia said you stopped visiting, and she refused to give me your address or phone number. A year ago I accidentally overheard her telling a neighbor in the store that you were a third-year medical student in New York. That’s why I transferred to New York on a student visa. I was hoping to find you…” He choked up.
Emily’s heart warmed and she looked into Daniel’s eyes, “You did that just to find me?”
“Yes,” he replied as he bowed his head. A small, sad smile played in the corner of his lips, and he continued, “I’ve been searching the net and social sites for years, but I couldn’t find anything about you. The only lead I had was that you were in medical school, and I followed it.”
Emily gasped when she realized, and exclaimed, “My parents changed our last names when we moved to upstate New York. My father said he wanted a fresh start. I was twelve years old, and I really liked our new name, St. Claire. I asked about you and wanted to visit, but my parents kept us busy. They took us on vacation to New Zeeland and a lot of other places, and they never let us go to Hungary again. Grandma visited us once, but her visit was short and she argued a lot with my mother.”
“No wonder I couldn’t find anything, I was searching Molnar, the name I knew,” he exclaimed. “I knew deep in my heart that destiny would bring us back together.” His eyes sparkled.
“It really seems like it.” Emily wondered for a moment and continued, “But we might have never met again had you not come to New York and took the same flight home.”
“Yes, that’s true,” he agreed, and taking a deep breath, he asked, “Do you… are you dating anyone?”
“No,” Emily answered. Who has time for that? She thought.
© Erika M Szabo


UNCLOSED DOOR
For you I have not closed the door.
Although the color changes on the canvas of my life:
sometimes blurred - crying, or a bright laugher with the light.
Day follows the day, month follows the month.
But in my core the score from rose's thorn
that rose, you gave it to another woman,
still bleeds like red petals and hurts.
And I am here again - here, on the home-ground, snowy white.
Midnight. My face is enjoying the kisses of snowflakes.
And in my eyes I see the air as burn white flame through tears,
like divine candle in the church
that I've not lit for you today.
I have not lit the first time in five years.
© Natalia Govsha

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