Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Sunday, October 27, 2024

Book Sunday

 Enjoy our featured books


 

 

Short story collection


A Collection of stories written by Shebat Legion. These tales range in genre, but all share the quirky and thought-provoking, often disturbing voice that is Legion. Hubris, a collection of short stories, new and previously published are offered as an example of the eclectic range and style that is Legion's own.

Young adult supernatural fantasy


A love potion made with haste out of jealousy puts Dorian into a comalike state. A rare orchid that blooms only once a year could save his life, but the precious flowers are fiercely guarded by Liam and his werewolf pack. The acolytes of the coven are forbidden to enter the forest and the young apprentices volunteer to make the journey that will test their loyalty and courage.
Will they succeed?

Humor and parody


Through a Wine Glass Darkly. updated in 2024, contains fifteen tales of horror, mystery, humor, and science fiction previously published between 2016 and 2018, including the award winning short story, "Swim With The Beavers," and three stories that received honorable mention status in the Writers of The Future Contes .Also included are six drabbles originally published in the Horror Tree anthology, Trembling With Fear - Year One. A drabble is a story of exactly 100 words. One new story, "Cruising With Eddie" is included in this volume. Scary, evocative, whimsical, and funny - all at the same time. Fill your glass, sit in front of the fire, and enjoy the book. You might want to keep the lights on.

Friday, February 15, 2019

Uncle Frank the Comedian by Erika M Szabo

Uncle Frank was a jovial man who had a joke for every occasion.


The day after Valentine's day not everyone is in a good mood, so I thought I'll share a few jokes my favorite uncle used to tell at parties and family get-togethers..
Uncle Frank was a stocky man who laughed easily, and when he scrunched his face and squinted, everyone knew a joke was coming. He was a clown always ready for practical jokes such as putting whoopy-cushions on everyone's chair, offering those novelty vine glasses filled with red liquid that were sealed, or sending a piece of polished wood to a bald friend with hairbrush written on it.

Some of uncle Frank's jokes:

Joe and his wife visited their friend who proudly showed them his fruit garden with his wife.
"Do you remember honey? We'd been married for two years when we had our first fight and we planted this apple tree."
"Yes, and when we had a fight last year, we planted that pear tree over there. " She smiled warmly at her husband.
Joe exclaimed, "Two fights in ten years? Mandy and I've been married only two years and if we've planted a tree after every fight, we'd have an apple orchard."

A man got caught in the woods with a rabbit in his sack and shot gun over his shoulder. When the forest guard accused him of poaching, he said, "I'm not a poacher, I wanted to commit suicide, but I accidentally shot this poor rabbit."

The grandfather tells stories to his grandkids about his wartime memories. "Because of me, once an entire division was unable to fight."
"You were a gunner or sharp shooter, grandpa?"
"Neither. I was the cook."

Charlie is supposed to play his violin in the school play. He opens the violin case and sees a machine gun. He shouts, "This is terrible! Dad is going to be embarrassed when he opens the case at the bank."

"My wife has terrible memory."
"Why? Does she forget everything?"
"No! She remembers everything!"

Husband to wife: "You look better without your glasses, dear."
"Thanks. You look better without my glasses, too."

"I think my boyfriend is married."
"What makes you think that?"
"Yesterday I kissed his eyelid with lipstick on and today he showed up with a black eye."

A horse breeder calls the vet and asks, "Could you give me another prescription of the aphrodisiac you prescribed for my stallion last week?"
"What was the name of the medication?"
"I don't remember but it had kind of cinnamon taste."

A doctor's waterpipe breaks and he calls a plumber. After the guy fixed his pipe gave him the bill for $8,000.
"This is ridiculous!" the doctor cried out. "I'm a surgeon and even I can't make this much in half an hour!"
"I know," the plumber said. "I couldn't either while I was a doctor."



Hope you liked some of uncle Frank's joke. If you know a good one, add it in comments.

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Sunday, July 16, 2017

Guest Author Walter Rhein #OurAuthorGang

Our Guest Author today


Walter Rhein

Walter Rhein is the author of Perseid Press release Reckless Traveler, an expat novel dealing with his adventures living and traveling in Peru. He runs the blog StreetsOfLima, and writes for Silent Sports and other print and online publications. He can be reached for comments at: WalterRhein@Gmail.com

What inspired you to start writing?
Writing is a compulsion. If I don't get up in the morning and write for an hour or so, I don't feel like the day is complete. It's a nice ritual of keeping your life in order. Writing helps you to organize your thoughts and, eventually, make sense of them. If you are unable to make sense of them, you can at least arrange them in a fashion that is pleasing to look at. Sometimes the nonsensical result ends up being the best.

What genre do you write?
Dystopian Fantasy, Heroic Fantasy, Humor

Book Links:
The Reader of Acheron
Reckless Traveler



Excerpt from “The Reader of Acheron”
“Did you know there once was a time when all children were educated in a great variety of subjects?”
Kikkan shook his head.

“That building we were staying at was such a place.  It was called a school.  Every day children were brought to similar buildings in their village and separated into groups.  They were then instructed in subjects such as writing, mathematics, and history.”

“It sounds like a significant undertaking for children.”

“Concepts were simplified.  Subjects were separated and the children worked on relevant concepts for an hour or so before being dismissed to the next lesson.  These dismissals were signaled by a bell.”

Kikkan marveled at the ingenuity of it.  “It must have been wonderful.”

“It could have been,” the old man admitted, “but it wasn’t.”

“But I thought you had respect for the concept of education.”

“I do.  But these schools were not truly about education.  You see, it was all a grand deception.  Learning the skills of reading, writing and arithmetic were secondary goals.  The real purpose was to trick the children into thinking they were obtaining something useful, to get them to submit to the necessary conditioning to make them a functional workforce.  The schools were not really designed to expand the children’s minds or encourage them to embark on grand new thoughts.  No, the true purpose was to give them the most basic level of competence at rudimentary skills then train them to work in groups, conform to an hourly schedule, and obey a central authority figure.  The whole system was designed to proliferate the submissive mentality necessary for maintaining an industrialized nation.  The goal was never to create packets of individual, creative, maverick thinkers.  The system was designed to make followers not leaders; drones who willingly bowed to a higher authority – any higher authority.”

“Why was that bad?”

“Because a need for a central authority figure is an unnecessary remnant of primitive, semi-savage civilization.  Adherence to that misguided need creates a cultural ceiling that results in the prolonged, unnecessary suffering of every member of the society.”

Adam spat the last words to emphasize his disdain.

Kikkan found his head was spinning, he found he needed something to connect to.  “Were the slaves taught as well?”

“There were no slaves,” Adam replied.  The question seemed to take the wind out of him.  Then he laughed.  “Well, not officially anyway.”

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Goofy Post Day at #OurAuthorGang

By Erika
My idea of dressing up had always been comfi, faded jeans and t-shirt since I was a very young child. My mother's idea, on the other hand, was fluffy dresses, adorned with lots of lace, and huge bows in my hair. Gosh, I hated those bows! I remember the day when this picture was taken in the photographer's studio.

I felt miserable, and it shows in the picture. No matter what my mom promised or even threatened to take away, I refused to smile.

Mom didn't give up to have a perfect picture taken of me dressed in her favorite outfit, so when we got home, she made me pose under the acacia tree that was filled with flowers. Unnoticed by her because she was busy setting the camera, I inched my way closer and closer to the tree branches.

To my great satisfaction, the hated bow got caught and tangled in the branch and when I yanked my head, the sharp thorns ripped the silk bow to shreds.

One glance at mom's angry eyebrows told me I was in big trouble, so I started running toward the front porch to reach the safety of my dad's embrace that always saved me from my mother's wrath. But in my haste, I stepped into the dog's water bowl, skidded, and fell into the muddy flower bed that dad just finished watering. My fluffy dress was ruined but the pitiful look on my face must have softened mom's anger because she quietly put the camera away and never again forced me to wear the enormous bows and fluffy dresses.

By Rick
Here I sit, all alone on our faded cream sofa. 
My feet are hanging over one of the dark wooden arms, as my hand grasps the tumbler ever tighter. 
The half-empty bottle on the coffee table speaks volumes, as my eyes shed droplets like the whiskey tears running down the outside of the glass.
Was it only last week that she packed her bags and left, clearing out the bank account on her way to meet her new lover?
Someone I knew so very, very well; my mate and my best friend. 
I really, really . . . miss him.

 
"I wonder what's closer. The moon, or China."
"The moon."
"How do you know?"
"Duh! I can see the moon!"














Picture credit: the author's own photos, and created by the author using purchased Adobe or Fotolia photos

COMMENTS

Joe Bonadonna via Google+

1 year ago  -  Shared publicly
 
And now, for something completely different, it's Goofy Post Day today on our A Small Gang of Authors shared-blog!
https://asmallgangofauthors.blogspot.com/2017/06/goofy-post-day-at-ourauthorgang.html
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Great story, Erika! My Mom used to dress me into pretty dresses when I was younger, too, and I absolutely hated it as well. I don't own a single dress now.
 
LOL, I have one evening gown that I wear once or twice a year when I really must. My favorite outfit remained jeans and t-shirt, but I wear slacks and simple blouses when I need to "dress up" :)
 
My mom too made me clothes she took patterns out of a sewing magazines called Burda. To her defense, back in the day you couldn't find jeans and such in stores. Many people would buy them at the smugglers. It was a big business to smuggle jeans in from Italy. After the borders were opened and trade resumed, you could find anything and everything in stores. Love watching funny cats videos. All in all it's great to break away from the everyday posts and be goofy for a day.
 
I agree. When we do serious work such as writing, we need a break once in a while to have some fun :)
 
Love this, made me smile. My Mum tried to force me into jeans rather than dresses (which I loved). I hated having school pictures taken and would usually be found staring at the floor or sulking in a group pic.
 
Maybe we were switched at birth Stella. You would've make my mom's dream come through having a daughter who loved dresses :)
 
ROFL! Great post!
 
Laugh is the best medicine ;)
 
These are too funny! Funny dresses? In a way, I can related. My Mom dressed me some outfits, stylish at the time for little boys, that now look like something some weird rich kid in those old, Our Gang/Little Rascals comedies of the 1930s would have worn. Stories, jokes, funny pictures and comments, and a hilarious video? This is great!
 
Thanks Joe! I thought it would be nice to take a day off from serious posting about books and writing and have a fun day. Today is like a dress-down day for the blog. That bow and dress traumatized me as a kid, probably that's why my favorite outfit remained faded jeans and t-shirts :)
 
Your mom was big on pretty dresses too? It is amazing how easily a child could be influenced to love or hate things.
 
I never made my daughter wear an organza dress or something that she did not like
 
Me neither! I remembered too vividly what it felt like when I was forced to wear clothes I didn't like.

 
Very funny. Your article reminded me of my organza dresses.

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