I Have Doubts
Yes, I have doubts as to the
quality of my writing. Is it any good or am I just fooling myself?
Every morning, early, —always about
5 a. m.—I rise from bed and begin writing. I’m always excited to begin the day
writing, my heart pumping, and my creative juices flowing. On good days, I may
write, off-and-on, for four or five hours. If it goes well, I’m elated; if it
goes badly, I’m miserable. If I only hammered out two or three lines, I feel
that I have wasted my whole day—for nothing! I pout and I feel anger for the
rest of the day, and I wonder whatever made me ever believe that I could ever
do a thing like writing a book, to begin with. Stupid! And for an Indie writer, this is even worse—you don’t have a publisher!
Well, and even having a publisher
isn’t always a sure deal of the quality of one’s writing.
I have had many short stories and
six novels published. My first novel was published by a man who owned a small
publishing company. He kept telling me that my manuscript was one of the best
novels that he had ever read. The contract that I signed with him was a 60/40
contract, with a 30% overhead charge—meaning that before the 60/40 kicked in,
30% was taken off first: I made little money.
So, I don’t know. Yeah, I have
doubts. Even the King says—that’s Stephen King— “Don’t go into writing lightly.
There are too many disappointments.”
Yet, when all is said and done,
there are the occasional emails that I receive from people—total strangers! —thanking
me for my writing putting a smile on their faces.
Yes, I have doubts, but receiving one of those joyful emails makes it all worth it.
Written by:
After many years of being a "struggling" actor in LA, I turned to writing. I have had several novels published: "I'm No P. I."; "A Ghoulish Good Time"; "The 13th Hour"; "Being a P. I.--Again". I have had MS for serval years now; I know physical and mental pain; so I need much laughter to endure it. Hopefully, my novels do just that--give much laughter.
Posts
Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I did--but can reply. Damn computers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteI don't write at any special time, but I do know the feelings of doubt about the quality of what I do. It is so true about the little comments on posts we share or PMs we receive where someone says the like what they read. For a little while I almost believe I know what I am doing.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWorking; can reply--for now!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think we have to love writing. If we went into it for the money, we're in the wrong place! We write because we have to write, and we love it! We'll try to keep our chins up during those disappointing moments.
ReplyDeleteSo well spoken and so true.
ReplyDelete