Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 2, 2026

The Seven Stages of Grief

When you lose the love of your life 

The seven‑stage model of grief expands on the original five-stage Kübler‑Ross framework to capture more nuance in how people process loss. These stages don’t occur in a fixed order, and people may move back and forth between them or skip some entirely.

1. Shock & Disbelief
The immediate reaction to loss. Everything feels surreal or numb, as if the mind is protecting you from the full impact.

2. Denial
A refusal—conscious or unconscious—to accept the reality of the loss. This can sound like “This can’t be happening” or “This can't be true.”

3. Anger
As the shock fades, intense emotion surfaces. Anger may be directed at yourself, others, the situation, or even the person who is gone.

4. Bargaining
A mental negotiation phase. People often replay “what if” scenarios or imagine deals that could undo the loss.

5. Depression
Deep sadness, withdrawal, or emotional heaviness. This stage reflects the mind beginning to fully grasp the permanence of the loss.

6. Testing
A quieter, more practical phase where you begin experimenting with ways to move forward—small steps, new routines, or tentative coping strategies.

7. Acceptance
Not about being “okay” with the loss, but about acknowledging reality and learning to live with it. Acceptance often comes in waves rather than a single moment.

Erika M Szabo is known for her diverse range of writings, which span historical fantasy, magical realism, cozy mysteries, sweet romance, and children's literature. Her writing style is both expressive and insightful, transporting readers into the depths of the characters' emotions.
Born in a small town in Hungary, Erika grew up with a deep love for literature and storytelling. Always seen with a book in her hand from a young age and soon began creating her own intricate worlds and characters. Her gift for storytelling is evident to all those who know and have encouraged her to pursue her passion.
As she grew older, Erika's thirst for adventure and new experiences led her to travel the world. She lived in various countries, soaking up their cultures and traditions, and absorbing them into her writing. Her travels also allowed her to meet a diverse array of people, whose stories and perspectives she wove into her novels.
Despite her literary success and acclaim, Erika remains a humble and down-to-earth person. She often speaks of her belief in the power of words to connect and heal, and her writing reflects this deep empathy and understanding of human experience.
After having negative experiences with publishers, she started her own company to help authors with book formatting, cover design, and navigating the complexities of the publishing industry http://www.goldenboxbooks.com

Erika is also the founder of #OurAuthorGang, a group of writers blogging together. This diverse group showcases the power of collaboration and the potential it has to elevate individuals and create something truly special such as the What If? Anthology Series
Some of her notable works include: "Protected by the Falcon": The first book in "The Ancestors' Secrets" series. This urban fantasy/magical realism novel introduces readers to a world of clan mysteries and ancient traditions.
The "Unbroken Curse": A historical fantasy that explores an ancient curse cast by a powerful witch sixteen hundred years ago, affecting families across generations.

The Seven Cozy Shorts includes seven novellas ranging from paranormal fantasy and unconventional relationships to futuristic love stories.

Some of Erika’s books are also published in Spanish, Hungarian, and German, as well as in audiobooks.
In addition to her novels, Erika has authored several children's books that emphasize moral values, acceptance, and friendship. Titles such as "Pico the Pesky Parrot" and "Look, I Can Talk With My Fingers" aim to educate and inspire young readers.
Erika's complex career reflects her passion for storytelling, art, and supporting fellow authors in bringing their creative visions to life.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Sadness or Depression?

Sadness or depression? The line is thin.

By Erika M Szabo


People often say, "I'm depressed" or "my depression is so bad." 
Is it depression or are they feeling sad? Feeling sad doesn't necessarily mean that everyone who experiences sadness is suffering from depression.

Everyone feels sad sometimes.
Sadness is a normal emotion and it's a part of life. It's a normal reaction to loss, life's struggles, or hurt self-esteem. Occasional feeling of sadness helps us to appreciate happiness. When something positive happens and our sad mood changes, the sense of contrast adds to the enjoyment of our happy mood.

The feeling of sadness may last for hours or even days but the person is still able to continue with everyday life, despite feeling sad and being "in a dark place." They talk it over with family members or friends and either accept what can't be changed or find the way to deal with the problems that caused the sadness.

Clinical depression is different, it is a serious medical condition.
One can't just "snap out of it" or "cheer up." Unfortunately, about half the people who suffer from clinical depression never get diagnosed or treated because the stigma "it's just in your head snap out of it" associated with depression holds them back from seeking medical help. They try to cope with the debilitating feelings and symptoms on their own and suffer in silence.


Anyone who suffers from the symptoms below for longer than two weeks should seek medical help. There isn't a "depression test" a doctor can use. The diagnoses start with a thorough history of symptoms and physical exam. 
The doctor asks about:
When the symptoms started
How long they've lasted
How severe they are
If depression or other mental illnesses run in the family
History of drug or alcohol abuse

Possible causes and triggers:
Could be an inherited condition.
Brain chemistry changes: neurotransmitters, specifically serotonin, dopamine, or norepinephrine.
Changes in hormone production and function.
Seasonal affective disorder.
Situational changes such as trauma or a major change.

Symptoms of depression may include:
Trouble concentrating, fatigue, remembering details, and making decisions, anxiety, agitation or restlessness.
Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness, guilt, worthlessness, and helplessness.
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame.
Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or sleeping too much.
Irritability, angry outbursts, and frustration, even over small matters.
Restlessness, loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities and in things once pleasurable, including sex, hobbies, or sports activity. 
Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain.
Aches, pains, headaches, or cramps that won't go away, unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches.
Digestive problems that don't get better, even with treatment.
Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings, slowed thinking, speaking or body movements.
Suicidal thoughts or attempts.

Treatment:
When depression is diagnosed the treatment may include medicines (such as antidepressants), and a type of therapy called psychotherapy or both. 

What not to say to people with depression:
Snap out of it!
It's in your head.
You have nothing to be depressed about.

Try this instead:
I'm here for you, you're not alone.
Tell me how you feel. Help me understand what you're going through.
I know you're strong enough to get through this. Let me help. 
I'm sorry you're struggling, let me help.

Depression carries a high risk of suicide. Suicidal thoughts or intentions are serious.
The warning signs include:
A sudden switch from sadness to extreme calmness, or appearing to be happy.
Always talking or thinking about death.
Clinical depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating) that gets worse.
Taking out of character risks that could lead to death such as one who's always been cautious suddenly signs up for bungee jumping, buys a motorcycle or goes rock climbing etc.
Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or especially being worthless.
Putting affairs in order, like tying up loose ends or changing a will.
Saying things like "It would be better if I weren't here" or "I want out"
Talking about suicide.
Unexpectedly visiting or calling close friends and loved ones or sending unexpected gifts to them.

Every single life is precious and immediate help is available
If you experience the symptoms of depression, make an appointment with your doctor who can make the diagnoses and get you the help you need. You don't need to suffer in silence!

Click HERE to read our previous posts

I write alternate history, romantic urban fantasy, historical suspense novels as well as fun, educational, and bilingual books for children ages 2-14 about acceptance, friendship, family, and moral values such as accepting people with disabilities, dealing with bullies, and not judging others before getting to know them. I also like to encourage children to use their imagination and daydream about fantasy worlds.



Erika M Szabo shared this via Google+

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Joe Bonadonna

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
Thank you for posting this, Erika. I experience sadness quite a lot, and for the first time in years I'm going through a serious battle with depression. Your insight and expertise as a nurse, and the information you provide are invaluable.
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People often dismiss depression as not a real medical condition. They think it's just a sad mood that all of us experience from time to time. That's why I thought it's important to point out the differences and hopefully this post will encourage people who suffer from depression to seek help.
 
+Erika M Szabo -- exactly. Sadness is what you experience when a loved one passes away or a friend moves away, depression is a whole other animal.

Tricia Drammeh

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
Articles like this help to remove the stigma surrounding depression and mental illness. Thank you so much for writing this very important post!
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Thank you Tricia! As a nurse I talk to a lot of people who thinks depression is just a sad mood. They often dismiss the person who is suffering and don't take their symptoms seriously.

P. J. Mann via Google+

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
A very interesting post about depression and the difference between the state of sadness.
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Joe Bonadonna via Google+

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
Monday on #OurAuthorGang, Erika M. Szabo​ discusses the differences between sadness and depression and the many treatments available to those of us who suffer from bouts of depression. Very good, helpful and insightful information.
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Ruth de Jauregui via Google+

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
Erika M Szabo takes on a difficult topic on #OurAuthorGang, and timely for the season. Remember, you aren't alone -- don't get lost in the dark place.
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Ruth de Jauregui

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
A timely reminder that depression is more than just a few days of the blues and not just "shaken off.". Thank you so much Erika for this informative article.
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Chris Weigand via Google+

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
Learn about depression with Erika
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Chris Weigand

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
Thanks for the info. It was very informative.
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Cindy Smith shared this via Google+

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Cindy Smith

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Very informative piece! 
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Toi Thomas via Google+

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Today, Erika M. Szabo offers some insights into identifying and dealing with depression. #OurAuthorGang
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Tricia Drammeh via Google+

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
Today on #OurAuthorGang, Erika Szabo talks about a subject we don't discuss often enough - depression.
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Eva Pasco

2 months ago  -  Shared publicly
 
A timely topic as the holiday season approaches.