The Du Lac Chronicles — The Interview
By Mary Anne Yarde
Character: It had to be in a church... Why not a Hall? Or a coppice? Or the coast?
Interviewer: I am so sorry I am late. (Drops the parchment she is carrying when she looks into his face. She quickly falls to her knees and gathers up her belongings). Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview. Please take a seat. (She gets up, puts her belongings on the table and sits down). Right, let's begin. Firstly, could you
introduce yourself?
Character: (Pulls out a chair and sits down slowly). You want me to tell you my name? (Grimaces) Perhaps this is not such a good idea.You see, I am
supposed to be dead, and if my enemies were to find out I was still alive it
could get a little bit… Well, it might get a little bloody and… I really shouldn't be here. I should go.
Interviewer: No. (She reaches for his arm to stop him from rising). Please stay. you don't have to tell me your name if you don't want to. (She lets go of his arm and picks up her quill.) You said you have many enemies. Could you
tell me about the villains that you've encountered?
Character: (Frowns) There was a king who invaded my brother’s kingdom and almost killed him. There
was also my cousin who… Actually, I would rather not talk about him. And then
there was the son of a dead man who murdered my father and my mother. He and I
are going to have a serious conversation one of these days. Not forgetting the
Church. They would like to see my body on a pyre. And if they found me here (scoffs). Oh, and my late
wife. She didn't like me very much. Nor does my former mistress. And I might
have upset the King of the Franks. But in all honesty, that wasn’t my fault. As I said, I have many enemies.
Interviewer: I can’t understand why. I quite like you.
Character: You do? Why? You don't know me.
Interviewer: I have a good feeling about you. That is all.
Character: And what does that mean?
Interviewer: Nothing. I am sorry. I am making a fool of myself. It is just that...
Character: It is just...
Interviewer: What would you say was your biggest
accomplishment?
Character: (Laughs) Staying alive.
Interviewer: That’s it?
Character: I think it quite an accomplishment considering…
(A long pause, while the interviewer looks deep into his eyes).
Character: Do you have any other questions?
Interviewer: Questions?
Character: I thought this was an interview?
Interviewer: Questions! Yes! May I ask about your childhood?
Character: You would be the first.
Interviewer: As a child, what did you aspire to be when you grew up?
Interviewer: Questions! Yes! May I ask about your childhood?
Character: You would be the first.
Interviewer: As a child, what did you aspire to be when you grew up?
Character: I was destined for the Church. But, umm, I found that I preferred
sword practice to prayers. I always wanted to be a knight. I ended up being a
mercenary. But, such is life.
Interviewer: What is your biggest regret?
Character: My biggest regret, apart from my entire life? A barn full of women
and children. And failing to protect the ones I love.
Interviewer: A barn full of women—
Character: I don't want to talk about that either.
Interviewer: Then let me ask you this. Would you rather kill or die to
ensure the safety of the people you care about?
Character: I have done both and I have the scars to prove it. There is nothing
I would fail to do for the ones I love.
Interviewer: Do you see yourself as a hero?
Character: No. No. I have done too many things that I regret. Can you ask me
something else, please?
Interviewer: I am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Have you ever
swum naked?
Character: Now that is an intriguing question. Come closer. (He leans across the table as he speaks). Closer. Oh for the
love of God woman, closer. Yes, (whispers
in her ear). (He leans away from her and grins.) Are you blushing?
Interviewer: No. I am not blushing.
Character: You are going very red.
Interviewer : It is hot in here.
Character: Isn’t it just?
Interviewer: You are incorrigible.
Character: I have no idea what that means, but I like the sound of it.
Interviewer: One more question, (fans herself with her hand) and then you can go back to where ever you came
from. Who has creative control? You, or Mary Anne Yarde.
Character:
(Laughs) Mary Anne tries, bless her. But, she
really has no idea what she is doing, and if it were not for me, I dread to
think what kind of mess she would make of the story.
Interviewer: So you are in charge?
Character: Absolutely. Honestly. I don’t even know how Mary Anne became a bard
in the first place.
Interviewer: I would like to be a bard (Sighs dreamily).
Character: I think you would make a good one. Tell me a story.
Interviewer: No. I couldn't. (Blushes again).
Character: Maybe another time then. (He stands, takes her hand in his and raises it to his mouth and kisses the back of it). Until we meet again.
Interviewer: (Blurts out) Would you like to go swimming?
Character: (Laughs) Now? With you? I think my betrothed may have something to say about that. It was a pleasure to meet you, my Lady. If you ever find out who I am, think of me kindly and remember not all you hear is the truth. (He leaves).
Monk: (enters the Church) That man who just left... Who was he?
Interviewer: (Has a sudden epiphany) Blessed Mary. I think that was Merton du Lac.
Monk: No. It could not have been. He is dead.
Interviewer: (Smiles a secret smile).
***
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