As a child, I used to love to write.
However, due to the fact that I attended Catholic school, I was not allowed to write what I wanted to write because the nuns did not like what I wrote.
If they asked us to write an essay about the sky, they wanted us to write something like: the sky is blue and pretty, the clouds are white and fluffy.
I would write: as the skies turn into different shades of greys, the thunders get louder and louder as the lightning bolts dance in the sky.
The nuns use to make me read what I wrote in front of the class. They mocked me and made fun of me in front of the whole class because I wrote nonsenses. Because the devil was inside me, making me write dark ugly sentences.
So, I learned to write: the sky is blue and pretty, the clouds are white and fluffy, and I was praised for finally writing as a good girl should.
Never again I wrote what I wanted to write. Never again I put down on paper my thoughts or ideas.
If people were laughing at them, why should I write them?
Nobody likes to be ridiculed, especially at our formative years.
It took me many years to write again. Actually, it took me decades to write again. And some more years, to let somebody see what I wrote.
And now, finally, I am letting the world see what I write.
Yeah!!!
I already publish “Fulfill your dreams” in English and in Spanish “Realiza tus Sueños”.
I will be publishing “Backpacking my style” soon in English and in a not so distant future (hopefully) in Spanish “Mochileando a mi Manera”.
In the meantime, I am blogging about my six months trip through Eastern Asia in my personal blog and about this and that here. Nevertheless, I am sure I will be posting about my travels too.
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Oh, how awful for you ~ talk about crushing creativity. I am so glad you finally found the courage and will to write agaon. Good for you!
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Deletethanks Mary Anne.
It was terrible, I had all these ideas in my head and not outlet for them. Besides it was terrible to have to write the way I did not like. But is over.
The worst thing anyone could do to a child is to shame them and ridicule them in front of their friends. Taking away the outlet to express your thoughts about life, that is not only about rainbows and sunshine but dark clouds are part of it too, was cruel. I'm glad you could overcome the shame they installed in you and found your voice to write.
ReplyDeleteIt's all in the past now. I stopped hating the nuns long time ago, as I don't have the time or the energy to hate.
DeleteI'm sorry you had such an unfortunate experience, Cristina. I went to Catholic grade school, and our nuns were of the BVM order -- Blessed Virgin Mary -- and they were strictly a teaching order, and most of them were very progressive in their thinking. I remember my folks having to come to school to meet with one nun because I had brought Famous Monsters of Filmland, and Mad Magazine to school. The nun didn't want me reading such things. My father promised her that I would not bring those magazines to class anymore, but since my grades were good, especially in spelling and English, he was not going to stop me from reading them at home: he was happy that I was reading, because he started teaching me to read before I began kindergarten. Later, I was lucky to have one nun who encouraged me to write, but when I asked her if the class could perform a play I wrote, about Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolfman, she said that was not proper material for a fifth-grade school play. But she never discouraged me from writing what I wanted, although I had to do it "on my own time." That nun then introduced me to Ray Bradbury, Jules Verne and H.G. Wells, by way of our fantastic school library. I was hooked after that, but good. Every school is different, and we all have different experiences, good and bad. I guess I was one of the lucky ones. I am happy you did not let the influence of those nuns stifle your creativity for the rest of your life, Cristina.
ReplyDeleteThe only book we read, besides the school books, was the new testament. Sometimes I wonder how I am not more screw up than what I am. Oh well... it is in the past...
DeleteI sympathize. I also attended Catholic school and was also ridiculed by teachers and students. I was even beat by the nuns because I wrote with my left hand, and as may have already suspected, they believed the devil was inside of me, too. Unfortunately I left that school not unscathed. I ended up developing AvPD with PTSD. My writing is what keeps me going.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean by being lefty. I wasn't but my sister was and my mom who was the teacher herself, forced my sister to write with her right hand. I cannot believe it to this day. I'm filing it under "those were different times" but I'm still boggled and flabbergasted.
DeleteI understand exactly what you are saying. It took me many years to get rid of their teachings,
ReplyDeleteThat's so bad, Cristina. Teachers can make or break the child. Especially one so young. I still remember my first grade teacher. She was known for breaking the plastic rulers and triangles on the children's heads. She yelled and cursed and her favorite punishment was to stick you in the corner to face the wall. Good thing our class got a different teacher in grade four (in elementary school you have the same teacher for grades 1-4). The new teacher was a gentle lady. Though both will remain in my memory, guess which one I'll remember fondly. As the saying goes, one day you'll be nothing but a memory to someone. Make sure to be a good one. Some people just not getting it.
ReplyDeleteI guess at one time or another we all had a bad teacher. We just don't have to let them ruin our lives.
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