Life in the ER
by
Erika M Szabo
I've been a nurse all my adult life. Taking care of the sick is hard, challenging, yet the most rewarding profession. Sometimes I cry with the patients but sometimes it makes me giggle when things turn out funny because of a simple misunderstanding.
I'll share some of the funny stories with you:
I checked on my patient at lunchtime and I saw that she didn't touch her meat. I asked, "Are you a vegetarian? She looked at me and replied, "No, I'm Presbyterian."
I placed my stethoscope on an elderly, hard of hearing lady’s chest and I instructed, “Big breaths.” She sighed and said, “Yeah, they used to be big and firm.”
After all heroic measures in the ER the doctor had to tell the wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. She cried, and I walked her out to the waiting room where her family waited anxiously. She told her family sobbing that her husband had died of a "massive internal fart."
A woman came in with upper abdominal pain and nausea and I was giving her the ordered medication. “I have your medication, it is Pepcid for your stomach,” I said.
She thought for a second and asked, “Is Pepsi better than Coke for stomach pain?”
I asked an elderly man about his medical history in triage. When I asked if he has angina, he indignantly replied, “No, I'm a man! I have a penis.”
A young boy was wheeled through the door by the EMT. The boy was on his stomach, crying in pain. Another boy about 13-14 years old trailed behind them rubbing his face in distress and cried out, "I'm in so much trouble! Good Lord, I'm in so much trouble! Are you okay Joe?" he rushed up and looked his buddy in the eye. "I hope you're okay because I'm in big trouble!"
Joe barked at him angrily, "You bet your ass you're in big trouble! You shot me!"
I looked at the EMT who couldn't keep a straight face and blurted it out, "No, it's not a GSW, his buddy shot him in the butt with a nailgun."
In my romantic, historical fantasy the main character, Ilona, is a doctor and some scenes play out in an Emergency Room:
A young doctor, Ilona, is thrust from her easy and steady life and forced to face the unknown. She must uncover ancient tribal secrets but doesn't know about her heritage besides legends and rituals concealed as nursery rhymes by her mother. In her quest to protect her family and the future of her people, she obtains unimaginable abilities. She can use her powers for absolute good or absolute evil; the choice is up to her. Ilona’s birthright as a Healer runs alongside her desires as a woman. She must sort through her feelings about the men in her life. Travel with Ilona from the time her people were nomads, to the castles of the 14th century, to present day, as she struggles to overcome the obstacles placed in her path.
“This is so different from the usual fare churned out by ordinary writers.” -Valerie Byron
“The characters felt real, and the secrets are alluring. You will get hooked in right away.” -Brenda Barry
“Szabo introduces readers to a fascinating world of ancient rights conducted by a secret order.” -J.E. Rogers
